The boy is the father of the man

Perhaps you've been keeping up with our nation's pre-polls political haranque. During Fred Thompson's speech at the RepNat'lConv, I was very affected by John McCain's courage and perseverance during his military service, especially while a POW. Whatever other character flaws he may have, no one can deny his courage. Of course, that was the agenda of the speech, but agenda aside - and I'm certainly not one to pull a party line (as anyone who knows me knows well) - there's no doubt that such genuine manliness is becoming less common in our panzified nation. With Ann Douglas, and as a pastor myself, I blame it on the pulpits. She approves. Of course, I don't. That said, no one can remain unimpressed when they see a genuine picture of a man's courage.... or a woman's for that matter.

During the speech, the camera turned a few times to McCain's ninety-six year old mother. She looks like she's still in good health and strong. And if she's anything like Thompson hinted at, who can wonder whether she's the major source of her son's character and courage? There are likely very few great men throughout human history who have been great apart from the shaping influence of their mothers. Sure, God can change a life. He can turn a misled childhood into a story of victory. He is the true source of character. And I would wager that the list of Christian men who have had astounding character and courage far outnumbers any list from among unbelievers. But God's ordinary and consistent work is accomplished through the family. And when it comes to making boys into men, it seems His favorite instrument has been those boys' mothers.

I think, first of the OT women, namely Sarah, Rachel and Bathsheba. As they claimed God's covenant promises, what men they shaped! I think of the godliest and most blessed woman of all - Mary, mother of God. That God would commit His own eternal Son into the bosom of a woman to have His character shaped as He grew in stature, wisdom and favor with God and men is an astounding thought. And there's no Man more courageous than He. And godly women have continued in Mary's train. Besides Jesus and Paul, I think of the mother of that man who's influence on our world is unparalleled - Augustine and his mother, Monica. He attributed God's conversion of him to her prayers. Again, God loves the prayers of a woman who claims His covenant promises. The list goes on and on.

You know many of the women of the Faith. And, although I can't claim to be a great man of history myself, I can certainly add my own mother to this list. Even though my father has always been an inspiring example of persevering courage in my eyes, it is also her words and en-courage-ment of me during some of my more challenging hours that have been so impressionable.

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How we fathers and mothers rear our boys in the covenant, humanly speaking, determines our future and the relative cultural impact that our Christian faith will have.

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One of our church members likes to say, "The boy is the father of the man." I've heard him encourage many young boys with these words. And I've seen their eyes focused as they tried to comprehend these profound words. I've seen their consequent efforts to begin their practice of heroism on the baseball field - facing the dangers of a hard ball - as they began their attempts to become courageous men. And I can't help but think that it was words like these and more that made McCain "man enough" to endure his own trials.

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And that brings me to some more particular thoughts, like, "just how do we instill characteristics like 'courage' in our boys?" What is courage? Does it mean having no fear? Perhaps the greatest men have so much courage that it overwhelms their feelings of fear so that they even forget their fear. Surely there are many men throughout history who have been truly "fearless." But, reflecting on the Garden of Gethsemane, I'm not sure that Jesus falls into that category. Yet, he rose from His posture of prayerful dependence and tread the path to His cross with determined and unfaltering steps. It was His duty.

And courage is just this - heartily taking up your duty, undetered by very real and present fear, and inspite of consequent personal danger. We should all want to be like Jesus in this.

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There are many shaping influences in the lives of our young men. And most of those influences, I assert, are from the women in their lives. Of course, I'm not downplaying the importance of male role models and fatherly input. I'm just not overlooking what some might miss.

For example, the young men in our nation's schools, whether government or private or homeschools, are all being shaped by women teachers, with a few exceptions. What does that look like? That depends, of course, on the women. If a woman understands the importance of courage for a man and she knows what courage is, then she'll see the opportunities to teach that courage when they arise. And for boys, those opportunities arise all the time. Young boys are very attuned to the quality of courage in men and in their comrades. They sense weakness and they admire strength - especially when they see a small boy taking up for himself against a bully. They admire that smaller, weaker fellow, the underdog so-to-speak, who always comes up fighting. And that truly is admirable. We love the saying, "Dynamite comes in small packages."

But being able or willing to fight does not necessarily make the small boy any more courageous than the bigger bully. It may just mean he's hot-headed and easily pushed passed the point of sanity into rage. We certainly don't want to foster that characteristic. That's precisely why it takes a wise woman to shape a boy into a man. She's got to be able to see the fine distinctions. She's got to love courage herself and want that in her pupils/sons. She's got to despise bloodlust and rage rather desire that those boys become men of peace. But she's also got to know when it's time for the boy to face his fear and take up his duty inspite of personal danger.

There are two instances when that opportunity most often arises in a boy's life - when a bully's trying to push him around, and when someone's picking on his sister (or friend). At these times, it's right for a boy to fight. A discerning woman will recognize the opportunity when it arises. Rather than let her natural womanly urges to provide safety for all her children, she'll provide a safe environment for those young men to practice and prove their courage.

I've got a friend who coached a soccer team. There was a bully on the team who incessantly picked on one of the other players. It was obvious that the bully would not let up, but the boy on the receiving end was not a hot-head and was not itching for the fight, and perhaps didn't even feel it would be right to defend himself by fighting in such an environment. But when the coach recognized the situation for what it was, he wisely went to the bully's father, told him the situation, and together they brought the two boys together and gave them the chance to duke it out. It ended up that the bully wasn't so prepared to fight after all. And that was that. But it took real wisdom (and courage!) on the part of the parents to be able to provide such a "safe" arena for those young men's courage to be put to the test and, thereby, fostered.

Fred Thompson incidentally compared Sarah Palin to Teddy Roosevelt. The comparison had to do with which elected officials could dress a moose. But it made me think of a story I've read from Doug Wilson's preface to his book, Future Men. He tells of how Teddy Roosevelt took a boy in his Sunday school class aside, who had been fighting with another boy, to discern the situation. When the young boy revealed that he was taking up for his sister, Roosevelt gave him a dollar.

I wonder if Sarah Palin, in the same situation, would have compared as favorably to Roosevelt and had the wisdom to reward the young man's courage to do his duty in the face of personal danger. I don't mean to imply she wouldn't. In fact, she strikes me as the kind who would. If so, kudos. We need women who will be wise enough to know themselves and the situations young boys often face, so that they can overcome their own default drive urges to protect and rather let those young boys practice becoming men who can face terrors like McCain faced, and become heroes.